This is what I was going to write about before my hangry episode on Friday. And this will explain the abundance of Ativan I seem to have.
I have a very mild form of epilepsy where I have what are technically seizures but not the kind you see on TV where the person falls to the floor and thrashes all over and foams at the mouth. Those people are either possessed or have been poisoned. Mine are WAY less dramatic. So much so that you would never know that the seizure is happening - but I do cuz it's all just in my head.
And by in my head I don't mean I'm imagining it. They're categorized as "simple partial" seizures and mine manifest in what's called a "psychic seizure," where I see all your deep dark secrets and can tell the future.
Not that cool, unfortunately.
All that happens is that I have a really strong feeling of déja vu, but not like a regular déja vu. Instead, I get a weird feeling in my stomach and it moves up to my head and my heart starts to race and it's more like a dream starts to play in my head and it feels like it's about to start coming true and it's really weird and hard o explain. I know this sounds really benign and it mostly is because I keep talking or doing whatever I'm doing and nothing on my body twitches or foams. But it's kind of a horrible feeling because these are also known as "auras" which, in people who have grand mal seizures, are the precursor to the big seizure where they pass out and twitch.
Thankfully, my auras only last about 20-30 seconds. And I function normally all the way through them.
The doctors say this is all due to scar tissue on my brain from the brain surgery I had when I was 27. But I think it's more likely that I was abducted by aliens and they planted a chip in my head and are doing experiments on my right now. (Doctors, schmoctors!)
(Don't freak out about the brain surgery, I'm fine. It wasn't cancer or anything.)
ANYWAY, one of the things my doctor is testing OUTSIDE of this diet is my progesterone because I usually have the seizures during menses, which is a common seizure trigger, this imbalance of progesterone and estrogen. If I have a big imbalance, we might be able to treat the seizures with progesterone cream or herbs instead of the Ativan and clonazepam I take now. That would be AWESOME because clearly, these medicines aren't working since I still have the auras.
But THIS month, during this elimination diet, I had more seizures than I have ever had in one month since they began 6 years ago. So I emailed the doc and she said it might be due to the detoxing or to the lack of refined sugar, but if I have any more we'll have to stop the diet. So,
Did I just say that?
We'll talk on the phone on Monday to check in.
I've found that my mood/blood sugar/brain chemistry (all that) is pretty sensitive and precarious right now. Besides the seizures, I've had a couple episodes of real depression when I haven't had enough food in my system and I'm thinking I need to reintroduce something - I don't know what - more carbs? to keep me in balance.
But I'll take belly bloat over seizures and depression any day.
I'm in kind of one of those funks right now and almonds are not getting me out of it.
So, sorry for the kind of lame, rambling blog post. It happens to the best of us.