Saturday, May 10, 2014

Day 18 continued- STILL grumpy

I (barely) made it through my hangover day yesterday. I NEVER felt better throughout the day - even after acupuncture and lots of water and B12. I just felt awful-physically. I fell asleep at 8:30 then woke up and ate a steak and rice and broccoli at 10:00 hoping it would make me feel better. And it didn't.
I didn't sleep well and woke up this morning - Saturday - still not feeling like I was over it.
I feel WAY better than yesterday, but have a slightly foggy, overall bad feeling in my body.
Alcohol is converted to sugar by the liver and my body is not liking all this sugar, clearly.
My acupuncturist told me to wait a week to start re-introduction of foods, but I'll just wait until I feel better - the bloating goes away and the gross feeling in my organs and head clear up, before I introduce corn and oats. And then wheat. And then duck eggs. And then sugar. And then - one glass of GOOD wine with dinner. Maybe.

This science experiment I'm conducting on my body is so enlightening. I know I need more complex carbs than I was getting from fruit and quinoa. I know that the gluten in barley doesn't give me intolerance systems.
I know that too much alcohol (and sugar?) wreak havoc on my body.

But my big question is WHY haven't I ever felt good on this diet? Lefty told me last night as I sat sad and tired on the couch watching TV, "I want my wife back. My fun, happy wife. Not my grumpy wife."
Even Nina, who's doing a one-month cleanse said something. "I feel GREAT!" she said. "I'm euphoric! I don't know why you haven't felt that."

What am I doing wrong? I'm not in a calorie deficit, but I am hungry all the time.
Granted, I haven't exercised AT ALL since I injured my back on April 7, so that could be a big part of it. I get no endorphins. I can't even do yoga!

I feel like I want to speed this whole thing up and get it over with to find the answer.
A BIG part of me wants to throw it all out and go back to eating GF muesli and maybe an egg and decaf for breakfast, eating whatever I want for lunch (I don't even remember what I used to eat for lunch!) and dinners that included more ingredients - like tomatoes, potatoes, and chocolate for dessert and yes, a glass of red wine.

But I've come this far and don't want to give up completely. But I do. But I don't. Lord help me.

So a slog on.

Sorry for the downer of a post. But it really reflects how I'm feeling right now, and if you know me, you know I don't put on a veneer for anyone.

So hopefully happy, snarky Heidi will be back soon.

I am looking forward to going clamming for mother's day tomorrow. THAT always makes me happy! Unless we get no clams. Then - grump.

Day 18 meals:
Breakfast: The Smoothie
2 cups green tea
Quinoa cereal with apples, coconut, walnuts & cinnamon

Barley salad, water

Snack: walnuts & pumpkin seeds
Smoothie with green matcha tea, almond milk, 1/2 banana & chia seed(yum!)

Snack: almonds, walnuts & pumpkin seeds

Dinner: steak, brown rice & broccoli

Water: shit-ton

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