Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Let's get this lamest party ever started!

This morning begins the long 3-week journey into self-deprivation. While this may sound like a spiritual exercise that I am taking of my own volition, but that's only half 1/16 true. It's simply an elimination diet that Dr. Astrid Pujari (Google her) has recommended for me to figure out: the bloating, the digestive "issues" (lack of regular poops), my frequent upper respiratory infections (URIs), back pain, ankle pain, allergies, epilepsy and low energy.
I mostly started yesterday, but cheated by having some eggs at lunch.
Here is what I am allowed to eat and drink for the next three weeks:
1. organic fruits & vegetables (except oranges - I don't know why this is, but I never eat oranges anyway so I'm not complaining)
2. Organic chicken & turkey and grass-fed beef (NOT grilled)
3. Green tea
4. water - NOT carbonated. Yes, really.
5. seeds
6. raw almonds
7. raw walnuts
8. quinoa & amaranth

What is NOT allowed for the next 3 weeks:
1. caffeine
2. non-organic foods
3. ALCOHOL!!!!!
4. sugar
5. eggs
6. dairy
7. gluten
8. soy
9. nightshades (TOMATOES, POTATOES, PEPPERS & eggplant) -notice how I didn't capitalize eggplant
9. peanuts or other nuts not mentioned in previous list
10. carbonation (need to find out if whipits are ok)
11. All grains (except the ones mentioned in  the "ok" list)
12. coffee
At the end of 3 weeks, I start re-introducing foods - the LAST thing I reintroduce is alcohol.

I already don't eat gluten or a lot of dairy, so those aren't a big deal. But no wine? You'd think that would be my biggest challenge. Au contraire, mes frères. The biggest challenge is going to be dinnertime with my husband. He's an AMAZING cook and while he likes a good cooking challenge from time to time (like when he was going to make omelets for dinner last week but I used all the eggs that morning...he swore and banged around the kitchen for 15 minutes while I hid in the laundry room playing dumb), this is not something he signed up for.

I'm thinking I should attempt to make this less about what I can't have and more about what I can. Quinoa cereal for breakfast! Whee!! Possibly a non-bloated abdomen! HOO-fucking-RAY! Regular poops! (YES! (Except only time I get to finish New Yorker articles is on the toilet). No more colds that knock me on my ass for a week at a time? Sign me up!

To track my progress, I'll be posting 3 pictures per day along with my daily food intake and my musings of the day. Pictures will be of my abdomen in the morning when I wake up (forgot today, so you'll only get to enjoy 2 pictures), in the mid-day after I've had a couple meals and before bed.
WARNING: It won't be pretty.
I'm going into this with a scientific mind, eager to find out what changes will happen over the next 3 weeks and what will happen when I start re-introducing foods into my diet 3 weeks from now. And eager to find out what happens to my mindset - will I be angry, irritable? Or will I become kinder and more mellow?
This is food as medicine, people. Ready, set, go!

1 comment:

  1. you got this, brave Heidi! i should probably do same but I am doing the no-sugar thang. (see http://sakurastepbystep.wordpress.com/2014/04/20/100-to-100/
    i am not brave enough to post photos...hmmmmm